There was a time when brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and walking Sadie in my pajamas felt like a productive day. Before Dave died, I never would have imagined saying that.

Grief drains you in ways you don't expect. Yes, you're exhausted. But it's more than that.

You just don't care.

The dishes can wait. The bathroom can wait. The weeds in the garden can wait. Things you may have actually enjoyed doing before simply don't seem important anymore because the only thing you really care about is the one thing you can't fix.

That's when I learned to lower the bar.

I stopped measuring my days by everything I didn't accomplish and started celebrating the things I did. If I brushed my teeth, that was a win. If I ate something healthy, that was a win. If I walked Sadie, that was a win.

I think one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in early grief is permission to expect less from yourself for a while. You're not lazy. You're not failing. You're grieving.

Some days, simply making it through the day is productive enough.